tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60568243768995601652024-03-08T05:48:56.329-08:00Sipping from the firehosenourishment for the spiritual lifeJanethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-66272612217388526282016-01-15T07:48:00.000-08:002016-01-16T10:58:46.578-08:00It's an inside job<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Humans are capable of enduring tremendous pain. We can go
through huge amounts of physical suffering and recover. Some learn to live with
and be productive with enormous chronic pain. And the same is true for chronic
emotional pain. I lived with a morass of emotional suffering for years,
traumatized, depressed, and not understanding the weight of the burden I
carried. I was productive. A successful student, I worked, had friendships, and
met and married my husband. To others, I was doing what young people did,
socializing, studying, working. And I had no idea just how much I hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How would I know? I had nothing to compare it to.
Insecurities, doubt, and depression had long been my emotional base-line. I
functioned and met responsibilities but now, looking back, I would hardly call
it living.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Many others live the same way. Hurting people continue to
get out of bed in the morning to meet responsibilities with little experience of
joy. It is the myth of Sisyphus all over again, pushing the boulder up the hill,
only to inevitably have it roll down the hill again. Where is the meaning?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Meaning is found within, in one’s own heart, one’s own
spirit. As I like to say, it’s always an inside job. It isn’t possible to find
this deeper meaning if one is disconnected from one’s true self. This was the
case with me. I had little idea who I really was. What did I enjoy? What
brought me pleasure? What was I naturally good at doing? Could I even listen to
my own body? This does sound a bit like “finding myself.” And it is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When someone experiences sexual, emotional, physical, or
verbal abuse or neglect in childhood, that person is thoroughly stripped of the
self. The adult who seeks to recover must discover the self anew. “Finding
myself” may be a source of joking but the idea is founded in the truth that one’s
spirit can be stolen. The questing adult must go about finding this stolen part
of the self and restoring it to the center of one’s being.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How to go about such a seemingly daunting task? It is
really quite simple. Begin by going within. This may be with the help of a
therapist, a friend, a 12-step group, or through the liberating power of
meditation. Simply take a step. One small step begins the journey to freedom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If I can help you in any way on your journey, please
contact me at <a href="mailto:JTuck4400@gmail.com">JTuck4400@gmail.com</a>.
Blessings.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2px;">© 2016 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-18161094296404046622015-11-02T08:52:00.000-08:002015-11-02T09:00:18.159-08:00The Power of Choice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So there's this cartoon where there is a speaker standing at a podium in front of a large crowd of people. He asks, "who wants change?" Everyone in the audience enthusiastically raises their hand. Then the speaker asks, "who wants to change?" The entire audience is looking down, avoiding eye contact and not one person is raising their hand.<br />
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It seems we all want someone else to do the changing. And that we think that what needs changing is something out there, outside of ourselves. I want a new boss, a new job, a new house, different weather, a different relationship, I different congress or president. The ugly truth is that the only person or circumstance that we have the power to change is ourselves and so true change must begin with each one of us.<br />
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In his Meditations for Manifesting, Dr. Wayne Dyer says "I know at each moment, I am free to decide." What an amazing statement. At ANY given moment, I have the power to choose!<br />
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Much of my life, I felt myself trapped, without choices. I had some vague idea that life would blow me in the direction I was meant to go, without me having much choice in how my life unfolded. This is a classic "victim" mentality and I think very differently about this now.<br />
<br />
Obligations often drive us, yet obligations aren't choices. They are something we feel compelled to do and that we have little choice in the matter. Obligations are a part of victim mentality. Allowing obligations to drive my actions is a choice that I make. I choose obligation over my own desires. I choose obligation over what is in my best interest. I choose obligation over taking responsibility for my own life.<br />
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I was at a birthday party once, standing with a friend beside the food table. We were talking about another friend of ours, one who seems to have the same issue for years, without taking any steps to help herself. She is a continuous train wreck. My friend with whom I was discussing this was saying that she was really struggling with the constant train wreck needs and I said, "well, why don't you just take a little break from her?" She grimaced and said, "I can't." That is the very picture of obligation. Let us review don Miguel Ruiz here: Love has no obligations. Fear is full of obligations.<br />
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What are your obligations driving you to do? Just sit a minute and think about that. Where in your life do you feel you have no choice? That is where obligation and/or fear is sitting.<br />
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I see people. I watch them wander, thinking they have no options. Yet, choices are myriad.<br />
The idea that I am a victim of circumstance means that I am not asserting my power to choose. Because I aways have choices. If I do not choose, it is because I am choosing to not choose.<br />
<br />
Personal freedom and personal power are in our ability to make choices. When we refuse to make a choice or when we want someone else to make a choice on our behalf, we give away our power.<br />
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Let's think about the throat chakra for a moment. This is the seat of personal power. It is our voice. This is where we make our choices and where we give away our power or assert our power. How many of you have had issues with the throat chakra? Asserting the will, making choices, these are the things connected with the health and well-being of the throat and include any issues with the ears, jaw, mouth, neck and shoulders.<br />
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What is it you're are waiting for? What is it you think you need in order to be happy. I see so many people waiting for peace in the form of the perfect relationship, the right job, the right location. These are what I call the relational solution, the vocational solution, and the geographic solution. And guess what? Wherever you go, there you are. We must always deal with ourselves. All of those things, the relationship, the job, the move, are things outside of you. The power of choice is about you. What do you want? What fulfills you? Who are you? How are you growing? Choice is about choosing you.<br />
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What is something that you want in your life:<br />
This can be about finances, health, relationships, your job, how people treat you, how you treat yourself.<br />
Choose one area. Now ask yourself, what are you actively doing to create that one thing in your life. This is the power of choice. It might be helpful to you to take pen and paper and write down your desire. Then, using stream of consciousness, write down one step you can take to make that desire a reality. Don't judge the idea or consider if it is viable. Simply make a list of single steps that you can take to create your reality.<br />
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When I was married, there was a lot of complaining in my home. So I tried to make a household rule. No complaining is allowed unless you are willing to do something about it. It turned out to not be very effective in my household because of what that cartoon is about. But this can be an excellent tool to use with the self. Am I complaining about something or wanting something different in my life? If so, what am I willing to actively do to change my situation? I have the power of choice at my disposal. How am I going to use it?<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.200000762939453px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span>Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-89764625795558091782015-10-05T06:19:00.003-07:002015-10-05T06:20:36.984-07:00Welcome to the Human Race<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">“I’ve
always believed that there was a certain age after which I would be all well
and I’d stop feeling as if I’d been abandoned here on earth with no
explanation.” –Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Growing
up is a long, difficult process. I recall longing, as a child, to be an adult.
The idea of freedom drew me, as well as the idea that I could arrive at an age
when I would no longer be confused, when I’d have the answers, have life
figured out. This magical time has yet to arrive. I’m fifty-two and I’ve given
up waiting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Once
I gave up on the idea of arriving, I discovered a deeper freedom than the one
I’d imagined as a child. What I discovered was a profound acceptance of my own
humanity. The human condition is, by nature, confusing. “I don’t know” is my
favorite saying. I don’t know and I no longer need to know. I don’t know
everything, nor do I know nothing. We’re all somewhere in between. Rather than
thinking I lack something because I get confused or have times when I feel
inadequate or profoundly alone, I now welcome myself to the human race.
“Welcome to the human race!” I say to myself. I don’t need fixing. And with
that thought, surprisingly, I am free. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-58167004479022861192015-09-30T09:18:00.005-07:002015-10-05T06:20:50.700-07:00Open-hearted attitude<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
open-hearted one finds peace, contentment, happiness. It seems
counter-intuitive because our instinct is often to shutdown, to close off the
heart, to protect. But that leads to disconnections and isolation. It is the
open heart, she who is vulnerable, who finds contentment in any situation.
Vulnerability isn’t just about sharing ourselves with others. It is about
connecting deeply with who I am, understanding myself, engaging in life
authentically, with no masks, no pretending, no hiding. It is to bare one’s
soul, first to self. When we thoroughly understand our own thoughts and
emotions, there is no danger. All is already secure. Vulnerability is more
about living true than about any danger of being hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
few months ago I was in the parking lot at Trader Joe’s, looking for a space.
The Nashville Trader Joe’s parking lot is an exercise in an effort to squeeze
far too many vehicles into too small a space. It is frustrating on the best
days. The day I visited, the parking lot was its usual chaos. I spied a space
on my left and put on my blinker just as a car approached from the opposite
direction. The driver approached the empty space and stopped. She didn’t put on
her indicator so I gestured to her, trying to question her intention and didn’t
get a response. Then I turned into the space and parked my car. When I got out,
heading toward the store she pulled up beside me and said, “you took my parking
space!” I spoke to her, letting her know that I didn’t understand her intention
while she continued to try to argue with me in this very busy parking lot. I
leaned into her window, looked her in the eye and said, “I really don’t want to
argue with you here in the parking lot and I also really hope you have a lovely
day.” Then I proceeded into the store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In
that moment, I felt fully present, fully myself, and my heart was open. Able to
stay present with myself, I didn’t fall into blame or defensiveness, paths I
have too often followed. It could have gone another way, if I’d felt defensive
or taken things personally. But for some reason, on that day, I was able to
remain open. This is why I practice meditation and other spiritual disciplines:
to stay with myself. These practices enable me to no give myself away in the
moment. I can show up under any circumstance. This is an everyday miracle, what
I consider a gift of grace, one available to each of us, daily, if we can stay
open-heartedly present.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-4923201232451844182015-07-10T08:03:00.001-07:002015-07-10T08:03:04.596-07:00The Lotus and the StarNow we turn our attention to the seventh and eighth chakras: the lotus and the star.<br />
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The seventh chakra is the crown chakra. It is located on the crown of the head. Colors associated with this chakra are violet and white. This chakra is the locus of divine connection. I like to think of it as the power source, where we can fill our tank with loving divine connection or energy.<br />
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The symbol for this chakra is the lotus flower. Think of a lotus bud, opening and blooming at the crown of the head. It is open to receiving divine love and funneling that love down through our bodies, through the other chakras, through our energetic channels. That's why I think of it as the power source. We receive divine energy through our crown and it fuels the rest of the system.<br />
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The lotus blooms, the chakra opens, through prayer and meditation. As divine love opens and enters this chakra, it affects our self-esteem, our inner peace, our sense of well-being, and our capacity for happiness.<br />
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"The more love we allow into our lives through opening our awareness to the source of life, the more love we will then have to give out in all areas of our life." Ambika<br />
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It is through opening in this chakra that we begin to lose the judgmental mind. We begin to accept self, others, what is. This is a state of surrender. We give up trying to control situations, other people, ourselves, and surrender to what is. This surrender comes because we connect to the universe. We are profoundly, deeply connected to all that is through the power of this chakra opening. And because of this sense of "oneness" we release the need to judge self and others. We are all one, after all.<br />
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Seventh chakra energy pouring into us pushes us to find divine connection in all that we do. This is very different from connection to religion, which is more of a first chakra function. This is motivation to have a deep, ongoing connection with the divine.<br />
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The sacred truth in this is Live In The Present Moment. For it is only in the present moment that we actually experience the divine. This can be profoundly unsettling, as we leave the tribal experience of religion, which defines God for us, and embrace our spiritual truth as we experience it, day by day.<br />
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This is seeking union with the divine where we experience the truth that we, as a part of all that is, are a part of God.<br />
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When this chakra opens, awakening begins. This can trigger a spiritual crisis where a person becomes aware that their life lacks meaning or purpose. This, in turn, can trigger new fears, such as feeling one is losing oneself. Finally, a person begins to feel an urge to be devoted to something greater than themselves. These three things are symptoms of profound spiritual awakening and a clue that the crown chakra is opening.<br />
<br />
Some stirrings might include:<br />
What questions have you asked that seek insight into your life's purpose?<br />
What fears do you have related to your understanding of God?<br />
Have you judged your life as meaningless when you evaluate it within a spiritual context?<br />
These questions can be found in "Anatomy of the Spirit" by Caroline Myss.<br />
<br />
A journey of meditation and contemplation lead to opening and new understandings of the divine and of the self related to the divine.<br />
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Now the eighth chakra, called the Soul Star and the Seat of the Soul. Color is said to be magenta or white. Located six to twelve inches above the crown chakra, this is where divine light and energy filter down and into the crown chakra. This chakra is related to infinite energy, spirituality, supreme divine wisdom and spiritual compassion. It is the origin of enlightenment, ascension, and the idea of transcendence.<br />
<br />
When this is open we are capable of a state of complete surrender and of allowing the pure white light of God to enter our life. Access to this chakra can be quite confronting because it allows one to release old attitudes that may otherwise hold one back. It may be a powerful aid to allow one to make momentous changes in life, in one's way of thinking, and in how one experiences this universe in which we live. If one truly experiences profound connection with all that is, things like the mass shootings become inconceivable and completely intolerable.<br />
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Some claim this is the deposit for karmic residue from past lives and the repository for lessons learned related to soul purpose.<br />
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I see it as the place where our soul's truest nature radiates outward from us. Our essential essence as spiritual beings. Thus, the symbol of the radiant star.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span>Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-12307881178991907252015-06-29T06:09:00.002-07:002015-06-29T06:09:21.855-07:00Cosmic power centers<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’d
like you to visualize a pendulum with a blue crystal on the end of a silver
chain. Now imagine that pendulum swinging in a clockwise direction, enjoying
the gentle energy of the swing. Now see the pendulum swinging inside your
throat, allowing that clockwise swing to activate your throat center. Let’s sit
with that for a minute. What does that feel like?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is the throat chakra, the fifth chakra. If the third chakra is about a sense of
self, the fifth chakra is about being <i>true</i>
to self. It is the center of personal power, action, and our <i>voice</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
fifth chakra is the most delicate and vulnerable in the human energy system.
Think of how often we get sore throats. People who are “off” in their fifth
chakra have everything from stiff necks and shoulders to TMJ and earaches.
These aches and pains are all connected to that fifth chakra where we can so
easily get shut down by holding back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
we stuff our anger we feel it in that stiff neck. When we hold back our tears,
we get that “thick” feeling in our throat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is the expression of our personal will. When we make choices for ourselves and
take full responsibility for our own decisions, our throat is supple and
healthy. And so are our ears, jaws, necks, and shoulders. If our will is not
developed, the throat can easily become congested with emotional energy. Some
ways this might manifest:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">All
addictive habits: smoking, food issues, alcoholism, drugs. There is some fear
related to expression of the self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Negativity
in the form of gossip, criticism, cursing, and boasting can all impair the
healthy throat. Think of how tight your throat feels spreading gossip. Or, for
me, when I’ve been criticized, how that tends to shut me down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
throat is the center of self-expression. It is where our desire to create,
centered in the second chakra, gets put into expression. This fifth chakra is
where our individuality is strengthened and fortified.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
express myself through writing, teaching, and using my gifts for intuitive
counseling. I also enjoy drawing, knitting, and gardening. These are all
creative forms of expression that “tell” the world who I am.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The more we
allow ourselves a form of personal expression, the more we have evidence of who
we are and what our purpose is in being here.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
are some ways you express yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
are some avenues of expression you might like to explore?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Here
is where we find the importance of the words we speak. When we speak with
respect and love, our throat is open. When we speak with derision, our throat
shuts down. This is about choosing right speech. And also about choosing what
we allow into our world, the right speech of others. And here we find the power
of choice. We always have the power to choose. Do I like the way someone treats
me? I choose to spend my time with them. Do I not like the way they treat me? I
choose to speak up. The power of choice is centered in the throat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And
now let’s turn our attention to the sixth chakra, known as the third eye. It is
located in the center of the brow, between the eyebrows. This is the “eye of
the true self.” It is where we have our truest “knowing.” And our clearest
“seeing.” The third eye is an “etheric” organ. It is the organ of psychic perception, it sees
beyond the physical world, bringing added insight. You ever know something but
didn’t know how you knew it? That is the third eye at work!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
third eye reacts to light, it conducts light, is part of light. It transcends
time and space. Light as energy connects with all time and place, therefore,
all that is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is about seeing. The physical eye sees by focusing. With the third eye, it
isn’t so much the “eye” that sees but the mind’s eye. It is not matter that we
perceive but light, or energy, which is a way of being.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
I pray for others, I often visualize them being bathed by a column of pure
white light. I see the light pouring down over their heads and surrounding
their bodies. I visualize the light coming into their bodies through the crown
of their heads and moving down through their energetic channel. All of this is
an action of the third eye. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
most significant aspect of consciousness at the level of the sixth chakra is
the development of psychic abilities. Clairvoyance is “clear seeing.” Directly
related to the third eye. When you meditate, if you see lights and colors, or
shapes, this is an activity of the third eye. I often feel my third eye
vibrating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
are some of your third eye adventures?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-57566221887728976792015-06-17T06:56:00.000-07:002015-06-17T06:57:54.344-07:00Listen to your gut. Follow your heart.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
chakras are our internal navigation system. We gain valuable information by
paying attention to what we are experiencing in these energy centers. During my
last post, I wrote about the root and the sacral chakras. Now we focus on the
solar plexus and the heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
solar plexus is the third chakra. It is located between the navel and the
sternum. This is the chakra that illuminates the consciousness, the sense of
self, our sense of power in who we are. Who am I? The purpose here, as we claim
our authentic selves, is transformation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
first chakra is all about the tribe and security. The second is about expanding
relationship to the outside world. This third chakra is about identity, about
knowing the self, and being able to embrace the self, be in relationship to the
self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Transformation
comes as we claim who we are. This happens by the breaking of old patterns and
the forming of new ones. We break the patterns of consciousness and behavior
that dismiss our self-worth. Our culture focuses on self-worth grounded in
achievement, looks, the accumulation of goods, and superficial power. All of
these values are based in ego-driven accomplishments. When we look to these
external standards, we actually give away our sense of who we are, our
self-worth, and our personal power to things or to others. “When natural gifts
and talents become subverted into socially acceptable behavior, energy gets
locked away and may find instead an unacceptable channel of expression as one
either demands to be seen or is afraid to show the self,” writes Caroline Myss
in her inspiring book, <i>Anatomy of the
Spirit</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">For
me, it was fear of showing the self that lead to deep depression,
self-loathing, and suicidal thinking. When I began to heal this part of myself,
transformation happened, and I blossomed in energy and personal power.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Alternatively,
when we experience ourselves as we are, we find we are whole, complete, and
perfect, just as we are. You are complete as you are. In this moment. This is
the moment of transformation. I don’t need to be thinner, wealthier, healthier,
less judgmental, more active, or kinder than I am at this very moment. I am
fine, just as I am. In this moment. Now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
would happen if I, or you, started living that way? You are just as you should
be right now. Perfect, as you are. I’m fine, just as I am. Sit with this idea
for a moment. How does it feel, in your belly?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is a balanced solar plexus. When this chakra is balanced, we cease giving away
our power. We own who we are. We take full responsibility for our lives and
cease feeling a victim. And this is a process, this transformation that is
riddled with fear. It involves moving past tribal, parental, or familial support,
to seek our own truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
the solar plexus is blocked, it can manifest itself in disturbance in the
digestive system.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Overeating:
protecting yourself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Undereating:
self-loathing; starve the self<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Constipation:
holding back, refusing to let go of old thinking or ways of being<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Ulcer:
eating away at the self<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Vomiting:
violent rejection of ideas or self<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
sense of self, centered in the third chakra, is about a sense of personal
power. When we are “in it” we are confident, assertive, proactive, disciplined,
excited about life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
our sense of self is off balance, we are filled with doubts and self-judgment.
Our energy drains away and we are in shame. Then we are in a self-esteem and
energy drain. This is the feeling of worthlessness and it is centered in the
belly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
do you notice about your solar plexus? Does it feel hollow? Churning? Placid
and even?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So,
now, the heart. This fourth chakra is the bridge between the lower chakras (the
more earthy chakras) and the upper chakras (higher consciousness). It is
included in both categories, both the lower and the upper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is where connection happens. The third chakra is about connection to the self,
about love of self. The fourth chakra is about connection to and love of
others, not just people but also animals, the planet, the universe. This is
where that feeling that all is one is centered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is where joy, bliss, love, and compassion are located. It is where we find
release from judgment and where we dwell in forgiveness. It is where we take emotional
and spiritual pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
heart chakra is the pathway to the realm of spirit in which all God’s creatures
are one and where love is eternal and unconditional.</span><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The
heart is cut off when we feel the need to protect ourselves, when we resist
connection, when we are in judgment.</span><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">When
the heart is open, relationships, possessions, and work take on a new lightness
and perspective.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We
become the source of love in our lives, rather than making our outer reality
responsible for the love we need. The flow of divine love is in us and through
us, in our heart chakras. It is all we really need, after all. The divine source
is love. All is one. We open ourselves to the relatedness of all life when we
center in our hearts and allow love to flow through us. This is why our
relationships, our friends, our job, our living situation cannot give us what
we need. We want to look to those things for our happiness. But it truly is the
divine connection, this great love, flowing through us that gives us the
connection we seek.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">People
who are blocked around the heart chakra tend to be suspicious, critical,
fearful, and negative. They struggle with judgment. Fear is present. And they
shut down and cut off.</span><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Physical
symptoms include heart disease, angina, blockages, fluid. All things that cut
off.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Heart
opening happens when we spend time in nature, when we choose courage and allow
ourselves to be vulnerable, and in meditation when we focus on the heart and
the energy that flows through it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">For
heart opening meditation, I suggest you place a hand over your heart-space.
Take several deeper than normal breaths. Allow your mind to focus on the heart
space, resting in the gentle, clock-wise motion of energy you find there. As
you continue to breath, keep your focus on that movement of the heart, relaxing
into it, allowing your heart to open more and more. You may enjoy listening to
quiet music as you do so.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-71616983411870612692015-06-12T07:24:00.000-07:002015-06-12T07:24:09.003-07:00The first and second chakras: foundation and pleasure<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">One’s
body is a field of energy. Within this energy field are energy centers,
referred to in ancient traditions as chakras. There are many energy points throughout
the body but there are seven main centers running in a column through the
center of our body. By bringing awareness to these centers, and by seeking to
maintain their healthy balance, we bring greater health and balance to our
lives overall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Today
I focus on the first and second chakras. While two separate chakras, I find
that their issues often overlap and that they can both affect the same areas of
the body such as the lower back. They also powerfully connect with our family
of origin issues.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
first chakra is located at the base of the pelvic floor. I like to think of it
as the “foundation” of the chakra system, much like the foundation of a house.
This is why it is considered the “root” or “grounding” chakra. Here we find the
earth element, with the sciatic nerve running down our legs and connecting with
the earth. We feel this earth element when we are out of doors and the color
associated with this chakra is red. This chakra is associated with basic
survival.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
we are small children, we are most vulnerable to our basic needs. Helpless as
infants, we depend upon our tribe for food, shelter, rest, hygiene. Our
earliest sense of safety and security is “rooted” in the first chakra. This is
the home of the survival instinct, the fight or flight reflex, centered in the
first chakra. And when that fight or flight instinct kicks in, it takes over
everything, we can’t think through what is happening because that instinct is
overriding every thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
instinct overdrive is one of the reasons that our relationships can become so
challenging. When a family of origin issues comes up, it can touch that
survival instinct. When that happens, and the fight or flight kicks in, we can
either find ourselves lashing out or retreating. Neither response is conducive
to harmony in our intimate relationships. We will “survive” but intimacy pays
the price.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">However,
when we are well grounded, when this chakra is open and flowing, we are not
bound by those fight or flight fears. Rather, we know that our security is
stable, grounded in the resilience and strength of who we have become. We are
our own tribe, able to take care of our self. This doesn’t mean we are isolated
and alone. It means we have learned to trust our own judgment, able to ask for
help when appropriate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Those
chronically struggling with survival issues—financial problems or health
issues, or both—are caught at the first chakra level. Look for some unresolved
conflict associated with the first tribe, the family of origin. These are
issues that bubble up around <i>one’s right
to be here</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
second chakra, or sacral chakra, is located between the navel and the genitals
in the pelvic area. This is the center of creativity, sexuality, emotions,
relationships, and the ability to generate income. This chakra is all about the
pleasure principle. Beauty, taste beyond the basics, the enjoyment of others,
pleasure in both body and soul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In
our culture, we are often taught to repress our need for pleasure, there is a
puritanical mindset. Or a value that goes too far in the other direction,
bordering on the absurd (think celebrity culture). Yet, we cannot truly connect
with ourselves or others if we don’t allow ourselves to know what brings us
pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Too
much self-sacrifice, and there is no true relationship to self or others. Too
much focus on meeting my own needs, and there is no true relationship, either.
When we understand truly what brings us pleasure, we are free to authentically
show up. And I find that the simplest of things, connected with both body and
spirit, connect me to self in the deepest way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
know I’ve shared this story before but it just seems so appropriate. When I was
in the midst of divorce, there was a lot of confusion in my life. It had been
years since I’d had a true sense of happiness. One day I went walking at Radnor
Lake, and after walking I sat for a while on one of the benches that look out
over the lake. As I sat, enjoying the light on the water, the breeze, the trees
around me, I became aware of the sound of birds. I looked up and saw dozens of
tiny, half-dollar size birds, hopping about in the trees above my head. In that
moment, I felt a bubbly feeling in my chest and I thought, “I think I might be
happy.” When I next saw my therapist, I told her the story and she said, “That’s
joy, Janet.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
connected with joy that day as my body and soul were both stimulated by simple
natural beauty and peace. I connected richly with pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
we are cut off from what brings us joy, it is difficult to connect with others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">These
chakras and their functions affect our relationships. When we are centered,
empowered in these areas of our bodies, our connections with others flow. When
these energy centers are blocked or drained of energy, we are reactive or
protective or just shut down. This is the great disconnect. We need to bring
awareness to these centers and take care of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">One
way to do that, to nurture these centers and make sure they are open and
healthy is to meditate on them. I like to use an opening meditation that
focuses on bringing light to these areas. You can do this by engaging the
colors that correspond to each chakra. The root chakra color is red and the
sacral chakra color is orange.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As
you relax and breath, picture red light radiating from your root and orange
light radiating from your sacrum. Work with this color and light for a few
minutes for each chakra. See if you can feel the difference!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-24270200235025827892015-06-01T09:22:00.001-07:002015-06-01T09:22:26.328-07:00Everything from the chin down<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Mindfulness
is the practice intentional, non-judgmental awareness. When in meditation, we
practice by bringing awareness to the breath, the sound-scape, or, in my case,
I often focus on the color display that I see as I meditate. When I become
aware that my mind has wandered, I return my awareness to the gentle bursts of
indigo blue, purple, or magenta unfolding before my closed eyes. The wandering
mind is the friend of the meditator because it allows us to notice that our
mind has wandered, and to return our attention to the point of awareness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
activity of wandering, noticing, and returning builds a stronger, healthier
brain. This is the activity that creates brain differences in meditators found
in all the neurological research being done with those who meditate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We
can bring this same practice of awareness to what is happening in our bodies.
When we begin to take notice of what we are feeling in our bodies, we get a lot
of helpful information. I’m not thinking here of, “my knee hurts.” Although
that gives us a certain kind of helpful information. I’m more interested in
what happens when we bring our awareness to the chakra system and the
information it is constantly sending to us, if we will bring our awareness to
gather the information.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
chakras are not simply a bunch of woo-woo stuff that the new age community
likes to talk about. There is actually some science attached to this. These
centers run through the middle of our bodies, a central energetic core, if you
will. The third and fourth chakras, the belly and the heart-space, have the
largest nerve networks in our bodies outside of the brain. We are truly wired
to sense through these energy centers. This is ancient wisdom, recognized in
the Hindu and Buddhist traditions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’ll
write more about each chakra in upcoming posts. For now, here are some brief
descriptions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
first chakra is the root. Located at the base of the pelvic floor, it deals
with material needs, like a foundation. Are we safe? Do we have a community?
Enough to eat? Shelter?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
second chakra is the sacral chakra. Located in the pelvic area, this deals with
money, creativity, relationships, sexuality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
third chakra is the solar plexus. It is in the belly and relates to the ego,
personality, and self-esteem. I like to say that this is where our sense of
self sits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
fourth chakra is the heart chakra. It is the center of love, forgiveness, and
compassion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
fifth chakra is the throat. Think of this as the “voice.” It is related to the
will, self-expression, and personal power.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
sixth chakra is the third eye, located just above and centered between the
eyebrows. This is the seat of wisdom and intuition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
seventh chakra is the crown. It is located at the crown of the head and is the
divine connection. Often when in meditation the crown of my head is tingling.
Once when I was praying for my son he texted me to ask if I was praying for him
because the crown of his head was tingling while he was studying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
strongly believe that we receive powerful guidance through our chakras. The
western way of being is all up in the mind, particularly the analytical left
brain. We have to figure things out. Most of our decisions are based on mental
evaluation. But I strongly believe that our body never lies to us, that its
guidance is clear, and that if we lived from that guidance we would have
greater abundance in every area of our lives and more peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We
have to listen to our bodies to glean that wisdom found there. You’ve heard of
“going with your gut.” Or you’ve heard people say, “I just knew in my heart.”
They are talking about third and fourth chakra guidance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
few years ago I was planning to go to nursing school. I’d been accepted into
Belmont University’s program, done all the prerequisites, and went to the
day-long orientation. Well, through the whole orientation, my stomach just felt
in a swirl. I’m not talking here about an actual digestive upset. Rather it was
a subtler feeling, a “churning” that was my body’s way of letting me know that
I was on the wrong path. I’d been making the decision completely from my head,
that day my body caught my attention. This was a different sensation from fear,
which I primarily experience in a constriction in my heart-space. This was in
my third chakra, my sense of self, telling me that nursing school is not “me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Consider
for yourself times when you have said “yes” to something you really wanted to
say, “No” to. How did your stomach area feel?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
heart is our guide to love. When our heart space is open and humming along, we
are feeling happy and have a flow of love in the fourth chakra. Fear, being the
opposite of love, sits in the heart-space. Think back to a time when you were
afraid and recall the constriction you felt in the fourth chakra. Now think of
someone you love, freely. The heart feels open and warm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Happiness
and satisfaction can join as we feel a warmth creep up through our third chakra
and into our heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
practice of awareness of these two vital chakras can give us great guidance,
just as it did the day I decided to not go to nursing school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
awareness can be beneficial in many ways. When we are struggling, this type of
awareness can guide us, even when we are having heavy feelings. A friend of
mine is going through some changes in her relationship with her mother.
Patterns are changing and my friend is making strong choices on her own behalf.
But this is hard work and my friend is very uncomfortable. She wants to feel
better, which takes time in these circumstances. These are the times when we
can use food, alcohol, shopping, etc., to feel differently. And she noticed
yesterday an impulse to shoplift. She didn’t do it, of course, but because she has
the ability to bring awareness, she can tune into her gut and her heart and ask
herself, “what am I really feeling and what is THAT about?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
takes practice. Meditation practice trains the brain to tune-in. We can take
that ability to bring awareness to our bodies to guide us in both small and
large decisions in our lives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
have you been guided by your gut or heart? When have you ignored this guidance?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-54235670412316163552015-05-27T07:26:00.002-07:002015-05-27T10:50:13.844-07:00Shame free living<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
have a long, deep relationship with shame. Childhood trauma made shame my close
companion; it ruled me for most of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Shame
is defined as “the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something
dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.” I find
this definition so interesting. Shame is defined as <i>painful</i>. And can be brought on by either one’s own actions or <i>the actions of another</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In
my case, the actions were those of my abuser. But the feelings I had, of being
deeply flawed, unworthy, and unlovable were <i>a
way of being</i>. These deep-seated beliefs were part of my very being,
something I constantly carried with me. Shame then, is not so much about doing
something wrong or inadequate. It is more of a feeling that “I am wrong.” “I am
inadequate.” This is toxic shame. Brene Brown says that guilt is the feeling
that you made a mistake, while shame is the feeling that you ARE a mistake.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
only relief I found was in accomplishment. Perfectionism became a way of life.
I felt I had to be perfect to be beyond fault, to be acceptable. So, on top of
the weight of shame, I laid the weight of perfectionism. My energy was consumed
in figuring out the right thing, instead of living joyfully as myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">By
my late thirties I found myself trapped in an oppressive marriage, not pursuing
my career for fear of what it would do to my already shaky marriage, worried
about what my choices might do to my children, I allowed shame, and the
resultant fear, to paralyze me. I had allowed shame to completely drive a wedge
between my authentic self and who I thought I should be. I was fragmented by
shame.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
limited my own choices for fear of making a mistake. My desire to be seen as
perfect caused me to hide my true self, keeping me from expressing myself. As
Christiane Northrup writes in <u>Goddesses Never Age</u>, “shame can get us
stuck in every sort of emotion and behavior that can hold us back. Because
we’re often afraid of being shamed for not being a “good” person, or for being
disloyal, we don’t prioritize our desires and instead focus on pleasing
everyone else.” We may even do this, put everyone ahead of ourselves, to the
point where we don’t even know what it is we want or need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So
how did I release this burden? Much of the relief I found through a therapy
called EMDR, which is a trauma therapy first developed to help veterans
suffering from PTSD. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and
Reprocessing. Using eye movements similar to REM sleep, the therapy deals directly
with traumatic memories. The eight step process transforms the meaning of
painful events on an emotional level. My understanding is that this is not only
an emotional transformation but also a physical transformation of the brain.
The nervous system itself becomes healthier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
did EMDR therapy after some intensive talk therapy and after practicing
meditation for a few years. My feeling is that the combination of these things
lead me to tremendous freedom from the burden of toxic shame I’d carried for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Last
week I encountered a shame bubble. This wasn’t the “I am in a complete pit”
kind of shame I used to suffer. At first, I couldn’t even name the emotion.
This was different so from TOXIC shame that I failed to recognize it as shame.
I felt restless. The situation was triggered by an unkind comment from someone
else. In the aftermath of the comment, I was having a hard time connecting with
compassion for her and began telling myself I should be beyond this by now.
Whenever I “should” myself I find self-judgment and shame not far behind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My
feelings of shame were so vague, so dull when compared to the tidal wave I used
to feel that I didn’t know what was going on. It was confusing to me. Then I
spiraled a little. One day I was irritable, the next day I was having sinus
problems, the next my whole back was tight and sore. I was like “what is going
on?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Christiane
Northrup talks about a direct link between shame and body health: “the more
critical and unforgiving we are toward ourselves, the more miserable and sick
we’re apt to be. The body has a remarkable ability to manifest shame as illness
or physical problems, because the hurt of shame registers in the brain in
exactly the same way physical pain does.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My
self-judgment, that I should be past judging others, created a shame
response—far milder than the toxic shame I lived with for so many years so that
I didn’t recognize it—which created physical discomfort. My lack of compassion
for another lead to a lack of compassion for the self. The solution is, of
course, a practice of self-compassion. Compassion for my own humanity, for my
limited nature, for the fact that I am still learning and growing and will for
the rest of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Kindness
toward self can lift that shame. A metta, or loving-kindness meditation,
practice brings relief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
are you afraid to change in your life because you think you might be shamed for
making a mistake? Is the desire to be seen as perfect keeping you from
expressing yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Finally,
here is a loving-kindness meditation practice you can do on your own behalf.
Traditional metta practice offers meditation first for the self, then for
someone we are close to, followed by practice for an acquaintance, and then for
our “difficult” person, ending with another round of practice for the self.
Petitions for each person are done three times. When dealing with painful
issues on behalf of the self, I suggest limiting your loving-kindness practice
to the self. Focus only upon yourself, repeating the series three times. Then
rest in your quiet heart-space for a bit before ending your practice for the
day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">May I be
filled with loving-kindness.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">May I be
healthy and strong.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">May I feel
calm and at ease.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">May I know
peace.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-19816638789944535162015-03-05T09:25:00.003-08:002015-03-05T09:26:46.113-08:00Winter blues got ya down?Another winter storm has moved through Nashville. The city has slowed to a crawl. Downtown is a ghost town, schools are closed, Kroger is out of bread and milk. It's March 5 and still winter. In this part of the south, we are accustomed to seeing daffodils by now and some days with warm sunshine. This ongoing spell of winter can be hard to take.<br />
<br />
I've had some clients recently asking me what's wrong with them. Here are some issues causing them concern: low energy, a desire to stay home, craving more sleep than usual, wanting to eat carbohydrates, general desire to cocoon. People are concerned that they are sinking into depression, taking the path to weight gain, or that they have a disorder.<br />
<br />
My feeling is that this is a normal response to winter. I think it is hard-wired into humans to want to hibernate a bit when it is cold outside and warm inside and the daylight hours are in short supply. American culture seems to be a little obsessed with wanting to find the cause of changes in behavior. I think, however, that we move with the seasons. We naturally adapt to changes in weather, the natural world, and light. Our ancestors slept more during winter months because it was dark and sources of light expensive. Likewise, they worked longer hours and slept less during summer months because there was more work to be done and the light lasted longer.<br />
<br />
Please stop with the winter self-judgment. You don't have a disorder. You're human, responding to the natural cycles of the earth. Cozy up with a book, a cup of tea, and a blanket. Slow down and take a nap. The sun will be out soon and you'll feel re-energized for the long growing season. Your energy will rise, you will get outside, and eat more salads and fewer potatoes. All is as it should be. You don't need fixing. Let yourself be.<br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.200000762939453px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span>Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-59727175182753622342015-02-12T05:31:00.003-08:002015-02-12T05:31:54.914-08:00Connections Open the Heart Space<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So,
as those of you who are regulars know, I’ve been unable to shake this cold I came
down with about a month ago. I’ve been coming in here on Tuesday evenings with
my hot lemon water and my tissues, trying not to disturb meditation with my
coughing. I strung it along, using the neti pot and ignoring everything until
Saturday morning when I awakened with fever. I got to the doctor’s office and
on the intake the nurse asked me if I had any mucus! By that time I’d let the
thing go to the point where everything seemed involved: sinuses, ears, throat,
lungs. Where didn’t I have mucus?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
think I used to be pretty good at being sick, it gave me a chance to hide from
the world and my fears. Now, not so much. I want to feel well all the time, to
be out walking, to be seeing clients, and focus on what I hear the angels
saying. Instead, as I couldn’t sleep, up coughing, feverish and worn out, my
fears preyed upon my mind, causing me to question my work, my goals, my ability
to make a living, what I have to offer, just everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Once
I got to the doctor, got the medicine I needed, got to bed, I rested. That was
what I needed; rest and loving support and I received both. By Saturday
evening, I was feeling physically, spiritually, and emotionally better. And by
the next day, this talk was in my mind, along with some clear action I need to
take regarding my work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">What
changed? I asked for help. I asked people who love me to help me. And I asked
my spiritual companions for clear and direct help. By reaching out, I found
myself connected. When I am sick, tired, and/or afraid, I often find myself feeling
alone. I felt that way on Saturday morning – so very alone and my mind began to
take a negative spiral, focusing on what is lacking rather than the abundance I
have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">For
me, these things often go together. Fear/fatigue/illness leads me down that
path of isolation. And isolation often feeds itself. I begin, I head down the
rabbit hole, and then I feed it. At times this feeling of self-pity, of
sadness, of loneliness is one of those old familiar feelings that I can
actually take comfort in, I kind of like it, I recognize it, I can work, in the
worst way, with it. The further I go, the further I go and it is a perpetual
downward spiral until I decide to stop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My
spiritual practice has given me some ability now to observe what I am doing,
observe the pattern I form, observe the spiral. I’ve learned that I need to
reach out and connect with someone who loves me. That is what I did on Saturday
and it helped me focus on what I needed to do that day. Then, everything looked
different to me that day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
pattern of connection/disconnection can create a lot of ups and downs in our
days. For me, the great disconnectors are fear and judgment. When I am in fear,
I can isolate, I imagine things that aren’t real, that feed the fear and
further isolate me. That’s what happened to me on Saturday morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Judgment,
that feeling of being superior and the need to be right, is really driven by
fear but feels a bit different. It cuts me off from others because I’ve decided
something about another and that judgment sets me apart, better than, in the
right. I find this rearing its head most often when I’m driving. Oooo, I am
quick to judge when in the driver’s seat! A few nights ago, I was headed out somewhere
when someone began tailgating me. I really hate this. My story line goes: “you
don’t have time to stop if I need to brake. You clearly don’t understand how
much time it takes to stop, you don’t get the basic physics involved, and you
must be stupid.” I’m afraid I’ll get hit but more than that, I feel I have no
control over the situation. This feeling that I need or want to control a
situation is often at the center of my judgmental mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Back
to my tailgater—the lane split into two lanes as we approached a light. I
pulled up in the right lane, preparing to make a right turn. My tailgating
friend pulled up in the left lane beside me. I looked over and was surprised to
see a young woman at the wheel of the car. She glanced over at me and I mouthed
to her, “You follow too closely.” She responded with an obscene gesture. I blew
her a kiss in kindness and made my right turn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">She
just looked so young and vulnerable and angry, sitting there and I thought, “She
really doesn’t have any idea what she’s doing.” Her youth and her vulnerability
really touched me, whether the mother in me or the young and very confused
woman I once was, I don’t know. But when I glanced at her, I saw a person, not
a story line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
truth is we’re all afraid. We’re afraid for ourselves and for our children and
for our neighbors and for our homes and our pets. We feel vulnerable and
confused and afraid. So we pull back or we lash out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">No
matter how hard I try, I have these humbling, terrifying moments. Sometimes
they strip me bare, I feel so exposed. Sometimes, they bring me some clarity.
They always give me the opportunity to let people I love in, or let a young
tailgater in. They give me the opportunity to see my vulnerable humanity or to
see the tender humanity of another. And then I receive the opportunity to hold
myself gently. Or to offer a small gesture of love to a stranger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
takes practice (that’s why we call it “practice”)! It takes awareness. It takes
the hard work of spiritual discipline. But the rewards are limitless. They are
acceptance, peace, and love. And I always want more of that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2015 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-50248140270510747802014-12-10T06:37:00.001-08:002014-12-10T06:37:15.704-08:00The Authentic Self and a Life of Love<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Our
purpose in this life is to grow into our fullest self. Your purpose is to be wholly
you. No one else can do it. This is for you alone. The journey of growth in
this is one of discovery, of who we truly are, what we desire, what our gifts
are, how to love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
isn’t a short course. It isn’t “Nine Days to the Authentic You!” No, this journey
of discovery and self-fulfillment takes a lifetime. And it is full of
suffering. I’m sorry, but it just IS. We have traumatic experiences, conflicts,
wounds from childhood and beyond. The more we run away from the pain, the more
painful it becomes. When we begin to face our wounds, they somehow lose their power
over our minds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
is the thing: truth frees us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We
are on a spiritual journey. It is a journey of discovery and the country we
explore is within. There is wonder there, and fear and doubt, beauty, power,
and awe. When we journey in the light, our way can seem easy. The deep ravines,
however, can seem endless and filled with hazards. Our work, on this journey,
is to allow the light to shine into even the darkest places within our own
souls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Marianne
Williamson says that “as we open our hearts more and more, we’re moved in the
directions in which we’re supposed to go. Our gifts well up inside us and
extend of their own accord. We accomplish effortlessly.” My experience of this
is that it is true. As my heart opens, I am guided. As I relinquish the need to
control, as I live into my natural gifts, my life unfolds. This extends to
every area of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
tend to “hit bottom” when I am in a cycle of trying desperately to figure
things out. In the fall of 2012, I was approaching the end of my job as a
communicator, the result of a downsize. I’d been interviewing for positions but
nothing was panning out. With two young men dependent on me, I was beginning to
feel overwhelmed as the end of the year, and the end of my salaried position,
approached. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My
mother had died the autumn before, my dating life was getting no traction, my
job was ending, and I didn’t know what to do. I was busy, busy with a job
search and full of fear. One Friday I felt like I’d hit a wall. I thought,
“I’ve got nothing.” I felt out of resources, out of time, out of luck. So I
gave up. Completely. And I thought, “I’m going to go with that. I’m going with
I’ve got nothing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
spent the weekend at Total Surrender Bootcamp. That’s what I called it. I
started Friday and went straight through to Sunday. No socializing, no job hunting.
I meditated, journaled, read Thom Rutledge’s amazing book, “Embracing Fear,”
went hiking, and took naps. I worked on my fears. One of the exercises in that
book is making lists of fears. Here are some things I listed as fears: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Emotional insecurity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Financial insecurity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Rejection<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Self-expression/vulnerability<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Unemployment<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Failure<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Success<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Abandonment<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Intimacy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Disapproval<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Responsibility<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Being unlovable<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Being alone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Vulnerable in my writing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Poverty and debt<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">All
pretty normal fears. Some realistic, some not so much. And contradictory. I’m
both afraid of intimacy and of being alone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
explored the dark caves of my heart during that weekend. By Sunday, I was
filled with joy, hiking, and singing. None of my material circumstances had
changed. But my interior world was transformed. Two months later, I started my
own business doing spiritual coaching and intuitive guidance, writing, and
teaching. I released my fears through a process of facing them and stepped into
myself and I have a sense of fulfillment I’ve never experienced before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
ongoing work with fear continues, and with it, my claiming myself in deeper and
richer ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We
spend so much time trying to figure things out. With our anxiety driving us, we
think, “what am I to DO?” “Who am I meant to be?” And our minds drive us on,
spinning and spinning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
I released my mind from the need to figure out, when I completely surrendered
to the wonder of “I don’t know” and “I’ve got nothing,” it was then that I
began to step forward into a richer, freer life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In
addition to fear, another thing that holds us back from claiming ourselves is
the need to take care of everyone else. This brings up the topic of service.
Being of service to others is a wonderful thing and relates to our life purpose.
But I feel strongly that service is not our life purpose. When we live as
ourselves, fully who we are meant to be, service flows naturally. We don’t have
to work at it or seek it out or try. Our natural gifts and talents flow, love
flows and we are of service in being who we are. I have a friend who recently said
to me, “I really feel that, up until now, I’ve been playing a supportive role
in my own life.” This is someone who is of great service to others but for a
long time, in doing everything for everyone else, he lost himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We
just don’t have to work that hard. When we live into ourselves, our presence is
an act of service.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
ultimately is about choosing ourselves. This may sound selfish to some, but
it’s the only way to really come alive. Shakespeare’s “to thine own self be
true” is a famous quote on this topic and widely used in the 12 step community.
But the entire quote is enlightening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It’s from Hamlet and spoken by Polonius:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This above all: to thine own self be true,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And it must follow, as the night the day,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Thou canst not then be false to any man.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
living into oneself, leads to service of others but it also leads to true
intimacy in relationships. “Thou canst not then be false to any man.” Others
have an opportunity to love us for who we truly are. When we live fully into
our inner truth, we end the need to do for others the things they can do for
themselves. We end resentments. We learn the beauty of “NO.” We offer our true
selves and nothing more. When we are true to ourselves we find that we live
from a place of love. False expectations end. Obligation ends. Commitments
become lighter. We find safety in vulnerability because when we show who we are
and are received with kindness, we build a true relationship. When we are not
received with kindness, we find the courage to choose differently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
want to note here that vulnerability is not the same as Too Much Information.
Vulnerability does not mean complete transparency with everyone. Vulnerability
means boldly choosing what we share and do not share. This power of choice is
profoundly different from hiding something or secret keeping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When
we live more in our own truth, we find the courage to be. This doesn’t mean we
are no longer afraid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Live
your truth; watch your joy grow, as will your relationships and experiences. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 19px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2014 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-89591954062990316912014-11-19T05:18:00.003-08:002014-11-19T05:22:11.693-08:00Releasing the Need to be Right<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">You’re on a
spiritual journey. You can’t mess it up.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">-Janet Tuck<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Most
of you know that I’m highly intuitive. When I work with someone, “seeing”
information on their behalf, I just love it when they call me later declaring, “You
know that thing you told me? You were RIGHT about that!” I love it when that
happens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">But
my need to be right is also a major stumbling block. My need to be right
disconnects me from others and from myself. It goes straight to my need to
control every aspect of my life and when I’m <i>there, </i>in control overdrive, there is no growth or joy happening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
goes for both small issues and the larger ones. Fear of being wrong keeps me
stuck. So I become vigilant about being right. And what I am coming to believe
is this: none of it matters. Being right doesn’t, getting it right doesn’t, doing
it right doesn’t. What does matter is being kind to myself and to others and
the rest of it just <i>does not matter</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Not
long ago a friend was going through a divorce. Originally from North Carolina,
she’d lived in California for 20 years and was seeking employment back east so
she could be near her family. She’d been offered a position in Virginia, a
comfortable drive from her family but was wrestling with the decision,
wondering if she could find something closer, wanting to make the right choice.
I can imagine her making lists of potential issues, hoping to anticipate them
and prevent them from happening. I shared with her the idea that she’s on a
spiritual journey and she couldn’t really mess it up. She found tremendous relief
in that idea. And she made the move to Virginia. We have the power to allow our
lives to unfold in an easier manner, when we end trying to figure everything
out perfectly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
ability to step back and look at the bigger picture can be a great relief. We
get so caught up in trying to figure out every eventuality, anticipate what may
happen, always do the right thing, spend time striving and striving and
striving to be right, that we forget. We forget that we don’t really have all
that control over much of anything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
think if I can just get it right…and it is really just another way I am seeking
to control things. I really love to do this with relationships. If I have a
misunderstanding with someone, my go-to frame of mind is wanting to get in
there and convince them of my perspective. I am the Queen of the mind
conversation. I’ll roll out point after point, making my case. And there is no
listening involved here. I am hugging close my own need to be right and fantasizing
about how I can get the other person to do, be, or think a certain way so that
I can be comfortable. It is all me, me, me. When I insist on being right, love
has no space.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
thing is, though, that if I’m on a spiritual journey, so is the other person
involved here. And I don’t know what their journey is about. And it’s none of
my business. If they are on a spiritual journey, it’s not my job to “get them”
to do, be, or think anything, no matter how “right” I think I am.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
couple of years ago I was talking with someone I know about the wonders of EMDR
therapy. (And if you don’t know about it and have had any kind of trauma,
please check it out: <a href="http://www.janischristenson.com/emdr.html">http://www.janischristenson.com/emdr.html</a>).
The woman I was speaking with had done EMDR therapy, with good results. I said
something about my eyes moving during the therapy and she declared that her
eyes hadn’t moved. To which I replied, “Well, they had to because that is how
it works.” She very calmly noted that her eyes hadn’t moved and that was the
end of the conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Only
it wasn’t. Not in my head. Being the Queen of mind conversation, I continued
where we’d left off, noting that the E and the M in EMDR stand for EYE
MOVEMENT! Her eyes HAD to be moving. I just knew I was right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And
then, I was sick of myself. What difference did it make? She’d had the therapy
and found it helpful. I’d done it and it had transformed me. Why was I making
such a big deal out of it? It didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I’m right or
not. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Only kindness matters. Kindness to myself, kindness toward others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Being
right doesn’t make me a better person, smarter, safer, kinder, or more
effective. And my <i>need</i> to be right
makes me none of those things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Giving
up the need to be right frees me to be present for my life. It frees me to
listen. It frees me to understand and enjoy others, to share their experience,
and beauty, and spiritual growth. They can’t be vulnerable with me to share
that if I need to be right. My need to be right shuts down all that shining
connection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Deepak
Chopra says that “everyone’s spiritual path is perfect.” Wherever a person is,
whatever they are feeling, thinking, or experiencing is just as it should be in
that moment. I don’t need to straighten anyone out or prove how right I am. All
I need do is make room for them and for their experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If
I don’t like what they are bringing to the table, I have the power to choose
whether or not I expose myself to it. But I don’t need to show them or explain
to them how right I am. My true “rightness” comes from showing up for my own
experience: for the joy, peace, pain, sorrow, or even my own need to be right.
Then I’m free to explore what it’s really about, this need to be right, and to
release it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
deep release of “rightness” makes room for what is. It is a deep surrender to
truth. The truth of who you are. And it makes room for the fullness of others.
This surrender allows for your fullness and all the accompanying hopes and
dreams to rush in. It welcomes abundance, because you, at your core, are pure
abundance. That is what happens when we release our need to be “right” and
welcome who we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/AfsS3pIDBfw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2014 Janet Tuck</span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-84564903251141890832014-11-05T10:00:00.003-08:002014-11-06T05:27:49.900-08:00Forgiveness as an act of self-love<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">“Forgiveness
is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered,
to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without
forgiveness.” Marianne Williamson</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’d like to
propose that forgiveness is a radical act of self-love. The act of forgiveness
has very little to do with the person we forgive (unless it is ones self, and
that is a whole topic for another post) and everything to do with finding
personal freedom. In order to truly forgive another, we must love ourselves
enough to understand how very much we deserve the freedom that comes with
forgiving. It isn’t about what it does for the other person. It’s about what it
does for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I can’t find
a better illustration for this than the essay by Charles M. Blow called “Up
from Pain.” It is an excerpt from his memoir <i>Fire Shut Up in my Bones </i>and can be found in the September 19 issue
of the New York Times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/21/opinion/sunday/charles-blow-up-from-pain.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Ar%2C%7B%222%22%3A%22RI%3A12%22%7D&_r=0&gwh=560719E7CFA6C834B390F14C664846F0&gwt=pay&assetType=opinion">http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/21/opinion/sunday/charles-blow-up-from-pain.html?module=Search&mabReward=relbias%3Ar%2C%7B%222%22%3A%22RI%3A12%22%7D&_r=0&gwh=560719E7CFA6C834B390F14C664846F0&gwt=pay&assetType=opinion</a></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This struck
a nerve with me, in a deep, deep place, because his story of childhood abuse by
a trusted relative is so familiar to me. Just reading this brought back the
terror and that hard knot of resentment in the depths of my gut, and the
suspicion that forgiving someone something so vile is tantamount to saying,
“it’s okay, what you did to me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The truth is
that refusing to forgive keeps us stuck. Kept me stuck. It’s like Charles Blow
says, “I couldn’t continue to live my life through the eyes of a seven year old
boy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By
withholding forgiveness, we hold onto resentment and this keeps us stuck wholly
in the past. The person we resent has already acted, it is in the past. By
withholding release, withholding forgiveness, we allow the perpetrator to act,
again and again, replaying events in our minds, nursing our hurt, stoking
resentment, re-wounding ourselves. We repeatedly hand over the power to the one
who wronged us. We continue to give over our power, even if it is only in the
mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Don Miguel
Ruiz, in his book <i>The Mastery of Love</i>,
addresses this issue. He writes:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You must forgive those who hurt you,
even if whatever they did to you is unforgivable in your mind. You will forgive
them not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because you don’t want to
suffer and hurt yourself every time you remember what they did to you. It
doesn’t matter what others did to you, you are going to forgive them because
you don’t want to feel sick all the time. Forgiveness is for your own mental
healing. You will forgive because you feel compassion for yourself. Forgiveness
is an act of self-love. Pg. 169-170.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Forgiveness
is an act of self-love. Can you find the courage to love yourself enough to
stop the re-wounding; to stop handing over your power? I do not have the power
to undo the past. I do have the power to choose to stop feeling sick all the
time, to stop the endless replay loop, to choose to let go through the power of
forgiveness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For me, this
was a long process. It took me, once I made up my mind to pursue forgiveness of
the man who molested me, a few years to get there. With my ex-husband, it was
easier, simply because I’d had more personal power to begin with in that
situation. One thing that helped in each case was the practice of praying for
them. A suggestion I received was to pray that my “difficult person,” as Gordon
Peerman so delicately puts it, receive everything which I longed for myself.
Health, financial stability, healthy relationships, peace of mind. Pray for
each of these men, individually, that they might have these things. OOOOh. It
was hard work. I would pray, but there, lurking in the back of my mind was the secret
wish that, especially my childhood tormentor, would have disastrous
relationships and financial ruin. But I kept at it. And it works. There came a
time when I could release this prayer to God with all sincerity. And that was a
great relief! The relief came when I began to see, to truly understand, the
kind of torment a person has to be in to act out the way he had. Enter
compassion. It is the pathway to forgiveness, which is the pathway to
transformation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In her book
about A Course in Miracles, called <i>A
Return to Love,</i> Marianne Williamson has a wonderful section on forgiveness.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Forgiveness is the key to inner peace
because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from
fear to love. Our perceptions of other people often become a battleground
between the ego’s desire to judge and the Holy Spirit’s desire to accept people
as they are. The ego is the great fault-finder. It seeks out the faults in
ourselves and others. The Holy Spirit seeks out our innocence. He sees all of
us as we really are, and since we are the perfect creations of God, He loves
what He sees. The places in our personality where we tend to deviate from love
are not our faults, but our wounds. God doesn’t want to punish us, but to heal
us. And that is how He wishes us to view the wounds in other people.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Forgiveness is “selective
remembering”—a conscious decision to focus on love and let the rest go. </span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This idea of
the ego’s desire to judge is what truly keeps us stuck. It’s what kept me
stuck. I wanted my childhood tormentor to be pure evil, making me pure good. But
the truth is that he was acting from his own hellish compulsion. His pain is
not something I want or need to understand. It simply is a part of the
equation. His need to control me wasn’t about me. It was about his feeling out
of control, and the only solution he could find was to control others. It
wasn’t about me. I just happened to be convenient. Once I understood THAT, it
was much easier to forgive. His actions weren’t personal. My resentment was. It
was personal to me. It was hurting me. This truth, once I discovered it, was
the key to surrender and release. My ego could, in this, let go and I began to
see the wound that was driving the whole situation. “God doesn’t want to punish
us, but to heal us.” This is true for me, and it is true for my abuser.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Once I came
to understand much of this, a process that took time, I understood the relief I
could find in Forgiving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And I
encourage you. To love yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love
yourself enough to claim freedom from old wounds, past hurts, long-gone
betrayals. Love yourself enough to no longer allow the person who hurt you to
have the power to continue to hurt you. Love yourself enough to forgive the
other their own wounds, their anger, the hell they are living in. Forgiving
someone who has hurt you doesn’t mean that what they did is okay. It just means
that you love yourself enough to be free from the burden they placed upon you
in the first place. Love yourself enough to choose freedom.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2014 Janet Tuck</span></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-52545941814117832282014-10-29T05:32:00.000-07:002014-11-06T05:28:11.446-08:00Tend Your Garden<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
world can be overwhelming. Just the management of our lives: keeping gas in the
car, people fed, our jobs attended to, bills paid, taxes in, get to the doctor,
mow the grass, rake the leaves, change the oil, the dentist, am I consuming
enough Omega-3’s. And if that weren’t enough, we’ve got ISIS beheading people,
Ebola terrifying people, Russia threatening, the environment deteriorating,
pervasive sexual assault, and mean-spirited public discourse. Take a glance at
all of this at once and it is a wonder any of us get out of bed in the morning.
We are left feeling powerless. Where do we even begin? The feeling of
powerlessness can be so huge that we end up doing nothing, further contributing
to our feelings of being disempowered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So
what can we do? Marianne Williamson writes that “we’re all assigned a piece of
the garden, a corner of the universe that is ours to transform. Our corner of
the universe is our own life—our relationships, our home, our work, our current
circumstances—exactly as they are.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Where
do we begin to tend our garden patch?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It’s
always an inside job. If peace begins with me, it must begin in my own heart
and mind. The thoughts I think matter. If I get caught up in stewing about what
an egomaniac Vladimir Putin is, how like Hitler he seems, how narrow and
narcissistic, I am contributing to the atmosphere of fear and distrust already
polluting the world. I am living in fear, radiating it out into the larger world,
disturbing the peace, so to speak. But if, instead, I choose to pray for and
shine the light on Putin and on the Russian people, I contribute to the
solution, adding to the healing of the world. Then, I’m radiating light and
love all around. Perhaps it doesn’t change Vladimir’s mind <i>today</i> but I’m not living in fear and my loved ones aren’t exposed
to my fear. I’ve changed something by tending my own little garden patch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Yes,
we are that powerful. I often encourage people to shine the pure, white light
of love on others. This is a simple practice of visualizing a great column of
light, pouring down over the head and body, around and through, the person. It
actually does something, both when we receive this light for ourselves and when
we shine it upon others. We do have the power to intervene, if we will but <i>do it.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Transformation
comes closer to home than Russia, too. We bring peace into our homes and
workplaces when we focus on ourselves, our purpose, our business. When we
relinquish the need to control, all kinds of magic is unleashed. Just think
about the idea of transformation as tending the garden. We dig, we weed, we
water. But the seeds must do the work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Releasing
the need to control others is a big part of this. One of my sons is a smoker.
I’ve always hated smoking and educated my children from an early age about the
health consequences of smoking. This is a kid who knows his stuff. And has
since a small child. When he was four or five, I was taking both boys to the
pediatrician’s office. There were three people standing outside the office
building, workers on a smoke break, and he marched up to them and started
explaining to them why they shouldn’t smoke. He knows. And yet he smokes. And I
had to let that go. He has all the information he needs. He is making a choice
and at this point it is none of my business. My choice is to not sacrifice my
peace of mind by worrying about my son’s choice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
friend of mine sent me this quote not long ago: “Worry is a prayer for chaos.”
I love that. Worry is a prayer for chaos. If I choose to worry about my son
smoking (and I am good at this), I will spin out an alternate story line that
goes something like this: He’ll smoke for years, develop lung disease, throat
disease, and gum disease, along with
chronic sinus issues. After I spin out the details of that story (think lots of
phlegm and cancer), my anxiety level will grow to such a degree that I will
start looking for relief. In my search to get comfortable, I’ll start nagging
him, mentioning his smoking every time I see him, which will (spinning out the
story again here) affect our relationship, we’ll become alienated, he’ll avoid
me, start using other substances, end up homeless and dead. Even if none of
these things happen, I have plenty of chaos going on between my ears and am
creating my own suffering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Best
to leave him alone. And leave me alone. I don’t have to DO anything. I shine
the light on him each morning and go about my business. Which is to tend my
garden today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
older I get the less I think I can do. What I mean by this is that I am capable
of many things, I write, I work with clients, I teach, I tend my home, nurture
friendships, love people. But I used to think I could DO stuff. Like fix
things. Fix things for people. I got way too much into other’s business. I used
to offer advice. Or “intervene” on other people’s behalf. Do stuff like pay
someone’s electric bill for them when they were struggling. Or feed people. Or
come up with solutions (that they didn’t ask for) to problems. I tend to not DO
stuff now. I like the idea of bearing witness. I listen. Sometimes I have to
coach myself to listen, to shut up and just listen. I really understand
problems but I don’t need to solve any of them. And in this quiet restraint, I
allow others’ to have their own journey, instead of imposing my version of
their journey upon them. I allow others to weed their garden. I’ve plenty of
weeds of my own to work on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
do want to say a little bit about energy here. We live by the energy we allow
in. If I meditate, if I get outside, my spiritual energy will be more reliable,
abundant and powerful than if I do not do these things. I am more likely to
worry my way to chaos if I am not attentive to my own spiritual needs. This is
a big part of tending my garden. I’ve got to let the light shine on it if I am
to be able to do the tending. This love energy is a thing. When we sit in
meditation together, I feel energy moving around and through us. It is the
energy of divine love, available to all of us, if we will but pause and allow
it in. This energy calms and heals us. It is the source of peace of mind and
heart that I’ve been talking about tonight. It is real. The only thing that is,
actually. So we turn first to it, the source of love, when we begin to tend our
garden. The garden of our heart. The garden of our mind.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2014 Janet Tuck</span></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-14739689846977064332014-10-24T07:55:00.001-07:002014-10-24T07:56:51.260-07:00Follow your heartYesterday morning I received a call from a friend who was wrestling with a decision. She explained the situation and my first, instinctive sense about it was, "she already knows what to do but isn't trusting herself." When I expressed this to my friend, she confirmed it.<br />
<br />
And I've run across this several times in the last few weeks, people doubting themselves. Why do we do this?<br />
<br />
This self-doubt is a fear-driven thing. We fear making a mistake. We fear being wrong. We fear vulnerability. We fear not being good enough.<br />
<br />
And the truth is the opposite of this. Whatever you are, at any given moment, you are enough. Our lives are filled with endless opportunities to learn and to create. What we call "mistakes" or "wrong" are truly opportunities. When we fear we are lacking, we are blocking our true selves from blossoming.<br />
<br />
We fill our minds with things we should or shouldn't be so much so that we stop ourselves from becoming.<br />
<br />
How do we move past these fears? By noticing our true desires, our true longing, our true self. What brings you pleasure? What are you good at? When do you feel afraid? Whatever pleases you, whatever you are good at, whatever interests you, whatever frightens you, that is who YOU are. Learn about yourself. Receive the truth inside of you. Follow your heart.<br />
<br />
If you'd like help with this, I'm available. You can book a session with me and we can get started together.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium; line-height: 25.2000007629395px;">© 2014 Janet Tuck</span>Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-39900060505483875762013-06-07T18:25:00.000-07:002013-06-07T18:25:08.644-07:00It's time for some selfishness<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">I see it
with clients again and again. Relentlessly putting the needs of others before
their own needs resulting in spiritual exhaustion and resentment. There seems
to me to be an epidemic of the belief that one’s needs do not matter.
Self-denial then leads to weariness and, often, depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">For a nice
southern girl like me, this argument is counter-intuitive. We are taught early
on that self-denial is a virtue. And, in some circumstances, it is. But when we
consistently do for others what they are perfectly capable of doing for
themselves, self-denial is a soul sickness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">A few weeks
ago it was a mother seeking to manage the family schedule, earn a living, teach
Sunday school, be of service to some young women she mentors, get exercise, and
work on her spiritual disciplines. The result was that she felt she wasn’t
doing anything well. Over-extended, she sat in my office feeling depleted. “Is
it okay for me to say no?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">This week
it was a middle-aged father, providing well for his family, participating in
the activities of his children, addressing the lengthy honey-do list handed him
by his wife, and caring for his aging parents. “Is it wrong for me to want a
little attention for myself?” he wondered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">At times
like these I’d like to raise my voice and shout: Please say no! Please ask for
what you need! How can we possibly give with any fullness of heart or any sense
of joy if we are consistently putting the needs of others ahead of our own?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">It is time,
friends, for a little selfishness here. There is a vast difference between what
I call “productive selfishness” and pathological, or morbid, selfishness.
Productive selfishness is about developing one’s gifts and embracing pursuits
which bring pleasure. These pleasurable experiences are really about living
into the authentic self, developing creativity, and expanding natural gifts.
Joyous selfishness is about living into the fullness of who you are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Many of us
have spent years taking care of the needs of others: our children, our parents,
our spouses, our employers. While responsibility and accountability are
necessary, there seems to be an over emphasis on self-sacrifice and a vacuum
where self-fulfillment should dwell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">It is time
now to receive the full self, in all its wonder, while embracing a kind of
selfishness which our work-driven culture doesn’t recognize. This productive
selfishness enhances who we are, giving us energy, vision, and hope.
Ultimately, it enables us to give of our best self. This is very different from
morbid selfishness which leads us to turn in on ourselves, always wanting more,
a stranger to wonder and joy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">A bold
embrace of self enables us to truly offer the whole self, from the heart, in
service and love in a most freeing manner, unconnected to duty or guilt. Take
some time, friends, for selfishness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-85923143210256963382013-05-28T05:27:00.002-07:002013-05-28T05:27:50.276-07:00Live like a dog<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ve
written about living in the moment before and most likely I will again. It is a
spiritual practice with rich rewards but it does take practice. The happiest
people I know are those who have cultivated this skill, leaving the past in the
past, forgiving themselves and learning from mistakes, and not projecting too
far into the future. Sometimes I call this ability to live in the present,
“living like a dog.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Dogs are
truly remarkable creatures. Loyal, non-complainers (unlike my cat who is
capable of maligning my character to anyone in the vicinity), quick to forgive,
I find they carry life lightly. My little dog Toto truly lives in the moment.
If I ask him the time, he says “now.” Same food day after day? He’s delighted.
Only water to drink? He’s grateful. Going for a walk? Best activity ever
invented. On the occasions when I can take him off the leash to run, it is pure
bliss for him, echoed in the electric activity of his little body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">When he is
naughty and I scold him, he has forgotten the whole thing in ten minutes and is
back to adoring his people. He makes friends easily, is slow to judge, and
holds no resentments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">He even
asks for what he wants (to play), and lets me know when he needs something
(when he asks to go out).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">For him,
this all comes naturally, because he lives in the present moment. For me, most
of this takes effort. The thing is, though, that I have a choice in how I will
live and can choose to practice this living in the moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">A few days
ago I was with a client who was making himself miserable over something that <i>might</i> happen. What Buddhists call “the
monkey mind” had taken over and he was obsessively thinking about scenario A
leading to scenario B leading to scenario C and so on until, in his mind he had
met with complete financial ruin. Was any of this true? Not so much. He has
several successful small businesses, lives in a nice home, and provides well
for his family. So I asked him if he was all right at this very moment. And he
said yes. He was more than fine at that very moment; he was well taken care of.
I reminded him that the singular moment was all he had.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">And that is
all any of us ever have. This very moment. I have the power to choose to live
in each moment of each day. To notice what is around me. To choose to not go down
the “what if” path and to choose instead to delight in what is. Just like Toto.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-3621780523431718942013-04-16T05:04:00.001-07:002013-04-16T05:38:03.417-07:00Here we are again<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Here we are
again. A stunned nation, mourning innocent lost, unnecessarily wounded, the
stripping of our freedom to gather and safely go about our business. The images
have become sadly familiar and this fact, too, offends deeply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">So many
thoughts have been going through my mind since hearing the news from </span><st1:city><st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Boston</span></st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;"> yesterday. I am a little familiar
with the running community, not because I run but because my brother does. Paul
has done several marathons. One of the things he loves about them is the
running community. As he says, “runners are just good people.” An assessment
from someone who would know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">People run
for all sorts of reasons. Some run for their health. Others to raise funds for
research. Or because someone they love runs. Or simply because they find joy in
running. Another because they are good at it. For every one of those 23,000
runners making their way along the course yesterday, there is an engaging
story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">But beyond
the runners is the community of support around them. Family and friends turn
out to cheer their runner, to replenish water, to feed them “goo.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
atmosphere is festive, celebratory. People run around in tutus, rabbit
costumes, as Elvis. I’ve seen multiple Dolly Partons run down the road during
the annual marathon in </span><st1:city><st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nashville</span></st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">. It isn’t easy to run 26 miles with
balloons for breasts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:city><st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nashville</span></st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">’s Country Music Marathon is in ten
days. I can only imagine what the organizers are going through right now. The
city turns out to line the streets; it is one big festival with countless
opportunities for someone with an evil intent to act out. Fear looms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">And that is
the point, isn’t it? The thing about acts of “terror” is that they have a vast
ripple effect. “It could happen here,” we think as we look at our children. We
close in, we look with suspicion, we pass unwieldy, expensive, and ineffective
laws. We become smaller.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">I long to
see us collectively defy fear-driven behavior with love-driven choices.
Celebrate community. Participate with joy. Choose kindness toward neighbor.
This is the response to acts of such senseless violence which defy everything
these acts are meant to provoke. Choose senseless kindness. Choose senseless
joy. Acts such as these lead to real freedom and a nurturing of the kind of
community worthy of the </span><st1:city><st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;">Boston</span></st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.0pt;"> marathon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-49850494212278167322013-04-08T05:52:00.002-07:002013-04-08T05:52:58.319-07:00Time for receiving<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stood on the lawn with friends as the woman approached.
She was tall, thin, and wearing a colorful scarf to cover her baldness. Undergoing
cancer treatment, she remained energetic and dynamic. I’d spoken with her a few
times over the weekend but standing there then, with the spring sunshine
pouring over us, was the first we’d really engaged.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were attending a retreat in Sewanee, up on the <st1:place>Cumberland
Plateau</st1:place> in <st1:state>Tennessee</st1:state>.
We had just come from a healing circle. Standing, connected by our hands, the
group of fifty or so formed a circle. As we sang an ancient Hebrew prayer for
healing, a person would step into the middle with the circle closing around
them. Encircled, the person was bathed in the song of healing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I stepped into the circle, I felt my own heart full of
love. Instead of quietly receiving, I raised my hands, “beaming” the love from
my heart over those circling me. I paused on those that I knew to be struggling
physically, emotionally, or spiritually. This was quite powerful for me. I felt
myself open and receiving divine love and I sent it on to others around me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Afterward, when we were outside, the woman quietly
approached me. She told me she’d been so moved and that she had felt loved in
that moment. I spoke quietly to her, “you have no idea how profoundly loved and
cherished you are. It is time for you to open your heart and receive it.” As a
tear crawled gently down her cheek she said, “ but I thought we are supposed to
love, not seek love.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I understood in that moment, and tried to convey to
her, is that when we open ourselves to the enormity of God’s love for us, when
we bathe in it and truly soak it in, then all we need do is show up. This love
will pour out of us, radiate from us, naturally. We spend so much energy trying
to figure out what we are to be doing, grasping at living up to some
expectation of who we are supposed to be, we often don’t stop long enough to
take in who we are. And that is this: a precious, deeply loved child of God. We
don’t have to DO anything. Take it in and show up to give it back. Receive and
be, in radical acceptance. The rest will flow from there.</div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-91554427562376081192013-03-16T06:01:00.002-07:002013-03-16T06:01:11.404-07:00A little perspective, please.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">My friend Ginna is a
spitfire. Shy of five feet tall, she has white-blond hair, wears black
eyeliner, and speaks her mind. She’s from </span><st1:place><st1:city><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Lebanon</span></st1:city><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">, </span><st1:state><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Tennessee</span></st1:state></st1:place><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> (pronounced Leb-non) and speaks with a </span><st1:state><st1:place><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Tennessee</span></st1:place></st1:state><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> twang. She is kind, has a heart for serving others,
and is a warm, companionable friend. But when she is angry or indignant at an
injustice, watch out. She is going to tell it to your face, just exactly as she
sees it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Ginna has, to my mind, been
going through a rough patch. She’s just been through a difficult break up,
struggled with a drawn-out sinus infection, and yesterday faced an emergency
root canal. “Worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life,” she drawled last night as
she rested in a cloud of antibiotics and Lortab. What did she do after the root
canal? Went back to work. I would have been home on the couch with a bag of
frozen peas on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">As I talked to her I said,
“Wow, you’ve really had a rough time lately with the break up, needing to move,
being sick, and now this.” This was Ginna’s reply: You know, I have had a
little bit of a tough time but I have this friend who is going through
treatment for breast cancer. I bet she’d take a sinus infection and a root
canal any day. I have and will have a roof over my head. I have the means to
pay for this root canal. And doctors who can help me get better. I’ve got
nothing but gratitude.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">That, my friends, is a
spiritual life. It really is about perspective, living in the moment, and
gratitude. And I thank Ginna, in her energetic way, for reminding me. I’d still
be home, horizontal, with the frozen peas on my face if I’d had that root
canal. But I hope I’d follow Ginna’s example into gratitude for the peas, for
the doctor, and that my tooth could be saved. And the couch I’d by lying upon,
and the roof over my head, and the loving little dog by my side. Gratitude. And
perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-8324415447150776712013-02-10T15:04:00.002-08:002013-02-10T15:04:30.065-08:00Wintertime blues<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I watched the blizzard Nemo roll over the Northeast and
bury it, I was grateful, once again, to live in the south. The winter in <st1:state>Tennessee</st1:state>
is about as much as I can handle. We’ve had only one snow this winter, which
accumulated about an eighth of an inch and melted away by <st1:time hour="14" minute="0">2pm</st1:time>; enough to enjoy the prettiness, not enough to cause
the community to struggle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Winter is a sluggish time for me. I do not enjoy the cold. A
sun lover, I feel oppressed by the many dreary, overcast days, the shortened
daylight hours, and the chill damp. For years I resisted my low energy during
these months and criticized myself for my lowered productivity, creativity, and
dulled spirits. The refrain in my head went like this: “what is wrong with
me?”; “where is my motivation?”; “I am so lazy!” As a substitute for
productivity, I spent time in self-flagellation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few weeks ago my friend Frank said to me, “you are just a
very seasonal person.” And I thought, “He’s right!” So instead of resisting my
winter doldrums, I’ve decided to roll with them. I’d like to borrow the wisdom
of the trees, the animals, the earth itself, which quiets in winter. It doesn’t
mean that nothing is happening. It is just a quieter, softer activity the earth
enjoys in winter, rejuvenation for the natural order of things. And I found
myself in that peaceful place of acceptance of what is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My natural cycle is to slow in winter. Spring brings new
energy and creativity. By summer I am trying new activities or launching a new
project. Autumn naturally brings a time to clean out. You’ll find me rummaging
in closets and giving things away. And then I’m shutting down again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Winter months are for reading and knitting. I find it very
important, on sunny winter days here in <st1:city>Nashville</st1:city>,
to get out for a walk, to feel the sun on my face, and to take in the fresh
air. My lower energy, this year, is meeting acceptance from me as the natural
order of things. And already, just barely into February, I’m feeling some
stirrings of creativity and movement. Last week I saw the sun a little more.
And was greeted one morning by little purple crocuses waving to me from my
friend Kathy’s khaki colored front lawn. My heart stirred with joy. Spring
can’t be far off now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those of you who wrestle with the winter aversion blues,
you might try embracing them instead of pushing them away. Take naps. Cozy on
the sofa with a blanket and book. Spring is around the corner and energy will
return. Choose with me a kinder, gentler winter.</div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-90967058523052583542013-01-11T14:38:00.002-08:002013-01-11T14:38:15.290-08:00Breathe in fear, breathe out compassion<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many of us struggle with self-judgment. I sometimes say that
I am meaner to myself than I would ever dream of being to anyone else. The
things I sometimes think about myself, the negative self-talk, can be terrible
and rude, words I would never think about another human being. Yet, if I want
to cultivate a compassionate heart toward others, the practice of compassion
must begin with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few days ago I was talking with my friend Ginna. She was
mentioning her struggles with the behavior of someone we both know, a
“difficult” person, and speaking of how judgmental she felt. “What is wrong
with me?” she asked. “Um, nothing is wrong with you. It sounds to me like you
are human,” was my reply. Ginna had been, in that moment, quick to judge
herself. This is oh-so-familiar territory for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like Ginna, I long to be free from the judgmental mind. I
despise that icky feeling I get when I am in judgment of others. Yet, the truth
is that a heart of compassion must begin with me, with compassion for myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because human experience is so universal we find that when
we make friends with ourself, we make friends with the world. When we cultivate
compassion for our own weaknesses, we find compassion for others in their
weakness. This doesn’t mean we excuse our weaknesses lightly. We still pursue
freedom from our foibles. But we do so with kindness, which I think makes our
efforts more productive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately, it is our natural reflex to want to push our
weaknesses away. When I am lonely, I just want the loneliness to go away. When
I am afraid, I want to magically be fearless. When judging another, I simply
want my negative thoughts (and also the annoying person) to vaporize. You can
see I have a lot to work with! And as counter-intuitive as it sounds, the way to
diffuse the power of my loneliness, fear, or judgment is to embrace them. As
Pema Chodron writes, “the things that really drive us nuts have enormous energy
in them. That is why we fear them.” We are drained when we try to push our
fears, our anger, and our jealousies away. We are energized for compassion when
we find the courage to embrace them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, what is it you want to push away today? For me, I want
am wrestling with a fear of failure. I have certain strengths, certain gifts.
What if they aren’t all I think they are? What if my gifts themselves let me
down? What if I undermine my talents with my own self-doubt? Rather than
pretending I do not have these fears, how can I embrace them, look beneath them
to what drives the fears themselves? Can I find a place of compassion for
myself? Can I then have compassion on the fears of others?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pause. I breathe in my fears. I breathe out compassion.
This is why it is called “practice.”</div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6056824376899560165.post-52816429811579769422013-01-08T04:12:00.001-08:002013-01-08T04:12:43.261-08:00New year, new list<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the turn of each year I like to pause and take stock.
I’ve developed some habits over the years and thought I’d share them here. I
would love to have you comment on your own turn of the year practices.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On New Year’s Day I do a journal review. As I page through
my journal from the year just passed, I review highlights, make note of
progress, and savor accomplishments. This can also be painful and trying as I
relive losses and face stumbling blocks. Overall, I find this practice
productive and satisfying.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next thing I do is write down some goals and dreams for
the year ahead. These are items as pragmatic as “get a new storm door” or as
dreamy as “travel more.” As I write, I allow my dreams to run wild. Yes, I’d
like to do a month long retreat at Spirit Rock retreat center. The chances that
I’ll have the time or funds to do this isn't likely but that doesn’t matter
here. I’m dreaming about my life, not laying plans. This is my big-and-little
dream list for the year, so Spirit Rock is on the list.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write about my hopes and dreams for my work life, my
children, my relationships, my home, my spiritual life, my leisure time. Pretty
much everything I hope for or dream of goes on this draft.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once I complete this first list I take out a nice piece of
stationery and I mold my dreams into an offering. I take the time here to
whittle down the list to what feels true. Now the list becomes something I will
look over almost daily as it becomes a kind of personal litany for my life over
the course of the year. At year’s end I pause to re-evaluate it. What has come
to pass from my list? How have I changed which, in turn, has changed the
meaning of what is included on the list?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I find this practice instructive, guiding, and inspiring.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And there is one item that remains year by year: “may I be
of service to others.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I embrace this particular item once again for 2013.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What’s on your list?</div>
Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12817709342444064394noreply@blogger.com0