Monday, November 2, 2015

The Power of Choice

So there's this cartoon where there is a speaker standing at a podium in front of a large crowd of people. He asks, "who wants change?" Everyone in the audience enthusiastically raises their hand. Then the speaker asks, "who wants to change?" The entire audience is looking down, avoiding eye contact and not one person is raising their hand.

It seems we all want someone else to do the changing. And that we think that what needs changing is something out there, outside of ourselves. I want a new boss, a new job, a new house, different weather, a different relationship, I different congress or president. The ugly truth is that the only person or circumstance that we have the power to change is ourselves and so true change must begin with each one of us.

In his Meditations for Manifesting, Dr. Wayne Dyer says "I know at each moment, I am free to decide." What an amazing statement. At ANY given moment, I have the power to choose!

Much of my life, I felt myself trapped, without choices. I had some vague idea that life would blow me in the direction I was meant to go, without me having much choice in how my life unfolded. This is a classic "victim" mentality and I think very differently about this now.

Obligations often drive us, yet obligations aren't choices. They are something we feel compelled to do and that we have little choice in the matter. Obligations are a part of victim mentality. Allowing obligations to drive my actions is a choice that I make. I choose obligation over my own desires. I choose obligation over what is in my best interest. I choose obligation over taking responsibility for my own life.

I was at a birthday party once, standing with a friend beside the food table. We were talking about another friend of ours, one who seems to have the same issue for years, without taking any steps to help herself. She is a continuous train wreck. My friend with whom I was discussing this was saying that she was really struggling with the constant train wreck needs and I said, "well, why don't you just take a little break from her?" She grimaced and said, "I can't." That is the very picture of obligation. Let us review don Miguel Ruiz here: Love has no obligations. Fear is full of obligations.

What are your obligations driving you to do? Just sit a minute and think about that. Where in your life do you feel you have no choice? That is where obligation and/or fear is sitting.

I see people. I watch them wander, thinking they have no options. Yet, choices are myriad.
The idea that I am a victim of circumstance means that I am not asserting my power to choose. Because I aways have choices. If I do not choose, it is because I am choosing to not choose.

Personal freedom and personal power are in our ability to make choices. When we refuse to make a choice or when we want someone else to make a choice on our behalf, we give away our power.

Let's think about the throat chakra for a moment. This is the seat of personal power. It is our voice. This is where we make our choices and where we give away our power or assert our power. How many of you have had issues with the throat chakra? Asserting the will, making choices, these are the things connected with the health and well-being of the throat and include any issues with the ears, jaw, mouth, neck and shoulders.

What is it you're are waiting for? What is it you think you need in order to be happy. I see so many people waiting for peace in the form of the perfect relationship, the right job, the right location. These are what I call the relational solution, the vocational solution, and the geographic solution. And guess what? Wherever you go, there you are. We must always deal with ourselves. All of those things, the relationship, the job, the move, are things outside of you. The power of choice is about you. What do you want? What fulfills you? Who are you? How are you growing? Choice is about choosing you.

What is something that you want in your life:
This can be about finances, health, relationships, your job, how people treat you, how you treat yourself.
Choose one area. Now ask yourself, what are you actively doing to create that one thing in your life. This is the power of choice. It might be helpful to you to take pen and paper and write down your desire. Then, using stream of consciousness, write down one step you can take to make that desire a reality. Don't judge the idea or consider if it is viable. Simply make a list of single steps that you can take to create your reality.

When I was married, there was a lot of complaining in my home. So I tried to make a household rule. No complaining is allowed unless you are willing to do something about it. It turned out to not be very effective in my household because of what that cartoon is about. But this can be an excellent tool to use with the self. Am I complaining about something or wanting something different in my life? If so, what am I willing to actively do to change my situation? I have the power of choice at my disposal. How am I going to use it?

© 2015 Janet Tuck